Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Minor Project: Act One Revised Screenplay

As the tone of the animation has shifted dramatically since the original project, I've began to rewrite the screenplay to accommodate this. This is the initial rewrite of Act One, with Acts Two and Three to follow shortly.
A couple of notes about this particular draft; The bulk of interaction is between Franklin and the Delivery Driver, although I've introduced the possibility of both Mother and Father characters. This is to help drive home the feeling of neglect and disfunction from the perspective of Franklin, although this would involve a lot more work for a very, very brief amount of screen time, so I may end up relying on set dressing and other methods of visual storytelling.




ESTABLISHING SHOT: A row of terraced houses. On the horizon, smog rises from the smokestacks of local industry.

A delivery van pulls into frame. Emblazoned on the side is the logo for an animal delivery company.

The van comes to a stop.

A DELIVERY MAN steps out, a box labelled ‘LIVE ANIMAL INSIDE’ under his arm.

He begins to walk along the path, turning through the gate of one house in particular.

The Delivery Man rings the doorbell, turning to look around in disinterested anticipation, gently whistling to himself.

The hefty thud of approaching footsteps can be heard through the door, catching the Delivery Man’s attention.

CUT TO POV of the Delivery Man, looking through the glass window of the front door.

An imposing silhouette gradually fills the space with each accommodating thud.

The door begins to unlock.

Gradually, the door swings open. The Delivery Man is greeted by nothing but a view of the hallway.

PAN DOWN to reveal a young CHILD, about nine-ten years old, peering out hesitantly from behind the front door.

Somewhat confused, the Delivery Man looks past the Child into the house, in search of a more responsible and likely recipient.

After finding nothing, the Delivery Man reluctantly passes a clipboard to the Child. The Child steps out into the doorway.

The Child’s signature reveals his name to be FRANKLIN.

Franklin passes the clipboard back to the Delivery Man.

Cautiously, the Delivery Man passes the box to Franklin, who accepts it with an unsettling expression of vague joy upon his face.

Franklin peers through the holes in the box.

The Delivery Man slowly backs out down the path, Franklin watching him with an expressionless face.

The Delivery Man’s pace increases until he reaches the van.

The van leaves urgently, and Franklin slinks back inside, slowly closing the door behind himself.



The walls and floor are coated in a gaudy floral pattern. A single, yellow light bulb just about manages to illuminate the hall.

Scattered across the floor are the miscellaneous scraps of a typical family. Footwear, broken toys and unopened post.

Family photographs adorn the walls, Franklin curiously absent in most of them.

Franklin begins to make his way down the hallway, stepping over and around all manner of mess scattered across the carpet, occasionally stumbling along the way.

He reaches the stairs, and begins to ascend.

Halfway up, Franklin pauses, looking into the living room through the wooden bannisters.

In the living room is his FATHER, mindlessly watching television.

His MOTHER is stood at the opposite end of the room, gazing out of the window with a cigarette in hand.

Franklin continues to quietly creep up the stairs.


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