tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7210299699467384784.post6654510265515882927..comments2023-07-01T08:50:52.116-07:00Comments on Steven Payne: Minor Project: 'Incompatibility' Screenplay Version TwoSteven Paynehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08946722461895676727noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7210299699467384784.post-36207126732658282902013-10-08T15:45:54.236-07:002013-10-08T15:45:54.236-07:00Hi Steve,
Yes, there's still a bit of flabbin...Hi Steve,<br /><br />Yes, there's still a bit of flabbiness in here re. the television set and the discovery of the tapes, and also I don't really understand the relationship between the tv and the robot; they should be buddies from the get go, so I don't really understand why the robot turns him off at the start or why the robot wakes up 'as if from a dream'. It makes more sense that both the tv and the robot are somehow a unit of friendship before the lady robot arrives. More than this, the television needs to be established as loyal to the robot, wanting the best for him, trying always to cheer him up. For example, the first scene could begin with the sad lonely robot being cheered up by the television; so, we encounter sad robot, and loyal tv companion. Tv doesn't like to see sad robot sad, so tv companion seeks to cheer him up with clips of jolly things; sad robot doesn't cheer up - sigh. Then lady robot appears - sad robot does cheers up, tv is pleased, but sad robot is shy, so tv wolf-whistles to kick things off, embarrassed, sad robot turns tv off etc. Think of it as a matchmaker story in this respect, with the TV playing cupid. In terms of the cassettes, can't we just see that there are lots of cassettes already in the scene and that the point of the eureka moment is not the existence of them, but rather the idea to play love songs - which is something the TV could show by playing adverts for Reader's Digest 'Favourite Love Song' collections or similar - the idea that music is the key, not the computer language?tutorphilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11842833126210822641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7210299699467384784.post-83497159397332054522013-10-08T05:09:32.231-07:002013-10-08T05:09:32.231-07:00I really love this script Steven! And I like the a...I really love this script Steven! And I like the addition of the tv in this version. One thing, I'm not too sure about the bit when the television set tautens its cable. What if some clip comes up on the screen instead with an arrow of some sort e.g. neon arrow diner sign etc. This could then point to the tapes. What do you think?Anitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00817081012442428728noreply@blogger.com